Sunday, August 16, 2009

Step 1. Take a leap of faith

Given that my summer break from classes is almost finished and I will soon resume the rigorous schedule of a full-time graduate student engrossed in research, studying, and teaching, I have begun to reflect on my first 6 months in this new phase of my life as a professional student (Round 2). This last six months has brought on many challenges, but I would not change this for anything because I realize that I am living my dream-to earn my PhD. Living in the moment for a time, I considered how blessed I am to have the opportunity to pursue this dream and make it my reality. I considered how countless others have yet to realize their life-long goals, either due to the lack of opportunity or the lack of ambition to pursue their dreams. I do not want to go into a long tirade about the chronic social ailments that prevent people from gaining well-rounded and solid educations or pursuing other individual goals and I certainly do not want to imply that I had to overcome some of the more prohibitive of these obstacles such as destitute poverty or being a refugee from war-torn nation. Rather what I would like to share my thoughts one of the most ubiquitous challenges I think everyone faces when they set out to realize their dreams; the challenge of overcoming fear.

As I see, there is a great deal of fear involved in pursuing dreams. I will be the first to admit that it was very scary to contemplate leaving a steady paying job that supplied the much needed income for me to afford my mortgage and provide the necessary funds to help support my family. We prayed a great deal about the decision for me to return to school but our preparation for change didn't stop there. I'm a firm believer that our Father in heaven may provide you blessings and opportunities but He expects his children to work for it. We researched funding opportunities and met with our financial advisor. We worked up our budget and figured out that we could afford school with grants, loans, and the meager salary I would be paid as Research Assistant.

But the fear doesn't stop at money. I also have my own healthily share of self-doubt and struggle with confidence. I realize though that it is natural to fear the unknown but you will never achieve anything if you are too scared to start. In order to achieve great things you must be willing to step into the unknown. You must embrace your fears and take a leap of faith to set yourself on the path that will allow you to achieve your dreams. I have take this first step and landed on my feet and for that I am forever grateful.

Yet to be completely forthright, I have much larger ambitions than earning my PhD. From a very early age all I knew was that I wanted to save the world through advancing the cause of environmental stewardship and engaging people in efforts to clean and protect our planet. I see now my chance to make this impact is coming to life through my PhD work. I know now that I am on a path that will provide me opportunities to educate people about their natural environment and the perils it faces due to human activities. I can see opportunities opening up as I submit my writing and research and as I help to build the foundations of what my lead professor and I envision to be a national program that will not only protect the environment but will also address and protect many facets of public health. All this because I took that first step.

So it may be difficult; the task may seem to large or your goal to lofty for you to achieve, but I can attest that overcoming the fears of inadequacy, inability, self-doubt, and financial insecurity can be accomplished through prayer and diligent research. The support of family and friends also make an amazing difference in the lives of those who sacrifice to achieve their life-long goals. I am surrounded by people that have encouraged me and helped me get to this point in my life and I am so very grateful to have this network in my life. Most especially my husband, Patrick, who reassures me and strengthens me when time are hard and tests, research, and other rigors of the PhD program seem to be mounting an offensive on my sanity and abilities. His love and support make this whole process possible and I in turn work hard to support him in his dreams and ambitions.

So if there is something out there you want to achieve be it a degree, a job, freedom from addiction, or any other goal whether it be big or small, I would like to remind you that one of the first steps on this new road you've chosen is more like a leap-a leap of faith.

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