Monday, January 7, 2008

Patience and Time

I tried running again after my PT therapist said she thought it was time for me to try again. Well, it wasn't. I've regressed. My hip pain is back. Not as full force as it was originally, but enough to deter me from trying to do any sort of walking for exercise or any cycling at all. But oddly enough I'm coping well with this. I miss running and cycling and being free of pain and tightness in my hip joint but I've discovered that I can stay healthy without running. I haven't gained weight, though my doctors say it wouldn't hurt me to and I've been able to lift weights and do mild walking. My world hasn't crashed to a halt and I'm not depressed that I can't run. I just am patiently waiting for the day to come when the hip flexor loosens back up and my psoas relents its tight grip on my right side. I really thought this would bother me more but I think I may have felt that I had a right or I should be upset and angry and impatient with my healing, but I've realized this won't help me at all. Oddly enough my therapy requires the exact opposite. I stretch my hip, quads, hamstrings, and psoas as I gradually heal from this injury and there are some odd parallels between my physical healing and the personal journey of growth I've embarked on since I've been injured.

As you stretch your muscles you must ease into the stretch holding for a moment and breathing deeply. You can't rush a stretch, just like you can't rush your healing process. I think I'm a bit calmer now for having to stretch so much. I'm realizing that I may not only be stretching sore and tight muscles in my legs and hips but I'm stretching my perception of who I am and what makes me happy. I've had to find new outlets and adjust to and accept my shorter, less intense workouts. I'm easing into this adjustment period and just hoping that I will heal in a month or so. When I do get back to running, I know I will be much more aware of my body and will have a greater appreciation for it capabilities, both to carry me vast distances with just the power of my muscles and bones, but also for its ability to heal.
So today I am on the mend. I am hopeful and patient and will continue to stretch my muscles and tendons and my spirit and mind.

I've known many injuries that have put me out and set me back but in the end, I triumphed and returned to my sports and activities with more vigor and ability. But more importantly I return as a stronger person in spirit.

Let the healing continue for today I am me and I am happy.

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